


just run it off

by yuushinos



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Dialogue Heavy, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mitsuru Tenma Has ADHD, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 09:03:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21443668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuushinos/pseuds/yuushinos
Summary: why does shinobu keep following him? why does he keep trying to help when mitsuru only ever hurts him?
Relationships: Tenma Mitsuru & Sengoku Shinobu
Kudos: 13





	just run it off

**Author's Note:**

> me: *picks up pen* my brain: you will make mitsuru hurt. now. me: o-oh??? :(  
yeah i have no idea abt this really. i just sat down and this came out! i don't really know how i feel about it... i mean the writing is fine? but the actual ideas and stuff... yeah i don't know. it feels quite murky to me, i'm interested in how other people will view mitsurus actions in this, and his and shinobu's relationship. please lemme know what you think, i'm super curious to how this comes across to ppl without adhd especially.

mitsuru runs and runs and runs. from everything, from nothing, from in-between every and no things.

shinobu-chan chases after him. every time it surprises him and every time he <strike>hopes</strike> expects it to be the last time.

it’s never the last time.

he never stops chasing. <strike>why? i’m sorry.</strike>

“tenma-kun” becomes “mitsuru-kun” becomes “mittsu-chan” (just once. he’d had a funny idea that they could match. he’s already mitsu, and shi means four so shinobu is yottsu. it doesn’t stick <strike>because it’s stupid</strike>.) becomes “mitsuru-kun”.

there’s a really bad period where he runs because he thinks shinobu really shouldn’t waste so much time on someone like him (<strike>vile, disgusting, miserable</strike>). there’s a really bad moment where he answers “you.” when shinobu asks him what he’s running from.

he knows it’s awful before he says it, as he says it, and after he says it. it doesn’t stop him. that makes him hate tenma mitsuru even more, makes him more determined to get shinobu away from the terrible monster that he is.

“you.” it’s a lie and a truth because it’s exactly what he means and not at all what he means. it doesn’t matter how shinobu takes it, because either way it’s an awful thing to say.

“me…? what do you mean?”

it’s such a kind thing to say that it makes him snap. turn around and yell at shinobu.

when he’s done he sinks to the ground in disgust, disgust and hatred for himself, for trying to hurt what feels like the one person who really cares.

shinobu sits beside him. shinobu wraps him in a hug. shinobu whispers “it’s okay.”

“why are you still here shinobu-chan? why are you letting me say such terrible things to you? why would you try to help someone trying to hurt you?”

“you don’t want to hurt me right?”

“it doesn’t matter. i still try to.”

“it doesn’t work mitsuru-kun. you haven’t hurt me.”

“you’re lying. it still doesn’t matter cuz i’m trying to hurt you.”

“why?”

“why…?”

“why are you trying to hurt me?”

“… because you deserve to be around someone who doesn’t try to hurt you.”

“so if you stop trying to hurt me we can stay friends?”

“n-no! i already tried to hurt you.”

“so? i forgive you.”

“you shouldn’t.”

“i do.”

“…”

“what if you made it up to me by staying my friend?”

“then i’ll just end up trying to hurt you again…”

“no you won’t.”

“i will.”

“i won’t let you.”

“…”

“mitsuru-kun!”

“huh?”

shinobu punches him in the chest.

“huh!?”

“did that hurt?”

“no.”

“so i tried to hurt you, but i didn’t.”

“that…”

“you did the same thing. but neither of us are mad so let’s keep being friends, mitsuru-kun.”

he hugs shinobu, hiding his face in his shoulder.

“what if i… want to hurt you again? will you go away if i do it again?”

“no.”

“what about if i keep doing it? what if i keep trying to hurt you?”

“i still won’t leave.”

“you’re going to get hurt. please leave. i don’t want to hurt you.”

“so don’t hurt me.”

“but… i don’t… i’m scared i can’t stop myself.”

“next time you can punch me.”

“i can’t do that!”

“just lightly… like i did.”

“i still can’t punch you!”

“so don’t punch me.”

“…”

“i won’t go away mitsuru-kun. you can treat me however and i won’t go away.”

“i… i… why won’t you leave?”

“because… mitsuru-kun is a good person. if he knows i won’t leave, he won’t try to make me leave by hurting me.”

mitsuru stands. shinobu looks up at him.

“sh-shinobu-chan… do you wanna get some bread with me?”

shinobu rises, and he’s by mitsuru’s side, and mitsuru finally feels okay with that.

**Author's Note:**

> the title is in reference to the idea of running or sleeping off an injury.  
also i think it's clear but in case you were confused. mittsu and yottsu are part of the hitotsu counting system in japanese (there are many counting systems :'( it's so much to learn). mittsu is third, yottsu is fourth. mitsuru comes up with yottsu as a nickname for shinobu because shi is one of the readings for four. yon is the one thats more commonly used tho.


End file.
